Miscarriage is something that all pregnant women fear and try to avoid at any cost. However, in some cases, miscarriage happens. It is a heart-breaking situation for everyone around, especially for the mother. It is also a traumatic experience for the mother, which is why it is vital for you to seek help to deal with what you are going through. There are different types of counseling that can help you with dealing with miscarriage.
“Common feelings associated with miscarriages include self-blame, guilt, fear, fear about one’s physical safety, fear about not being able to have additional children, anger, shame, disbelief, sadness, anxiety, confusion, and even relief,” writes Alicia del Prado Ph.D.
People have the misconception that miscarriages are uncommon, this is false. According to the American Pregnancy Association, 10-25% of pregnancies will end in a miscarriage. Sources do not give these statistics to scare pregnant mothers, but they want to let women who have had a miscarriage know that they’re not alone.
Common Emotions and Feelings After a Miscarriage
After a miscarriage, a mother will feel a rollercoaster of negative emotions, which is normal. Shock and denial are all part of it. You might feel as though this isn’t happening and you might be wondering how did this happen, even though you’ve taken care of yourself.
It is also important that you accept it, it’s going to be difficult, but many mothers have accepted and healed from miscarriages.
Counseling and Medical Care After Miscarriage
After a miscarriage, women feel as though they going to lose everything and have the fear that they might lose everything. Which is why it’s important for you to seek therapy immediately after miscarrying.
“But healing does not come from simply moving on. Healing comes from facing the feelings and questions you have at this difficult time and moving through them at a pace that feels right to you – not because people you trust or love are telling you it’s time,” writes Christiane Manzella, Ph.D.
You will need to find a therapist that can help you. You can search online for grief and bereavement counselors near you. When you attend your counseling sessions, your therapist will perform psychotherapy. Psychotherapy will help you with dealing with your emotions and help you with healing.
In addition to finding counseling for yourself, it is also important to find couples counseling. A miscarriage can create rifts in the marriage. You and your partner might feel distant from each other. Your partner is also grieving. Even if he may not show his grief, it doesn’t mean he doesn’t care or that he’s not grieving. It’s important for him to also receive therapy to help him with overcoming his emotions and healing.
Join a Support Group:
Connecting with other mothers that are also trying to heal from a miscarriage could help you. It also gives you the chance to connect with other mothers who can relate to what you are going through.
“If support is not forthcoming from family and friends, it is important to reach out to someone with whom you can share your feelings,” writes Marilyn A. Mendoza Ph.D.
You should visit your doctor and gynecologist regularly so that they do regular examinations. You should also consider visiting a fertility center to investigate what could’ve gone wrong during your pregnancy. At these facilities, they also provide counseling.
Other Helpful Tips:
Remember and Cherish Your Baby:
It’s not going to be easy to forget, so cherish the memory of your baby. You can plant a tree in remembrance of your baby, buy yourself a piece of jewelry, donate something to charity or anything that will help you. You can also spend some special time with your partner on the anniversary.
Allow Your Body to Heal:
After a miscarriage, it is important to take care of yourself and your body. Refrain from sex if you must. Give your body some time to heal before trying again for another baby. It is important that you heal completely physically and emotionally before trying again.
It might be hard to think about yourself at this stage, but you need to put yourself first. Go for massages, manicures or do anything that makes you happy.
Ignore What Others Say:
You might find other people being judgmental and intrusive. It’s best to ignore these people.
Reference: Health Line