How to Handle Unplanned Pregnancies

Women and health, anxious Asian girl looking at pregnancy test kit, sitting on the ground at home


After hearing that you are pregnant when you’re not expecting it can be quite overwhelming and it can stir up a whole lot of negative emotions and stress too. It is also a challenge for both you and your partner. At times, you might feel as though you’re all alone and no one cares. You might also be confused about your future and how to handle this unplanned pregnancy.

Some common emotions that you might feel upon hearing that you’re pregnant are: worry, sadness, frustration, anger, confusion, shock, anxiety, detachment from your baby, etc.

Here’s What You Can Do After Hearing that You’re Pregnant


Inform Your Partner or the Father of Your Child:


It might be even more difficult if you have been separated from your partner before knowing that you are pregnant. But whatever the case might be, he should know about this and he should also share the responsibilities that come with the baby – even if you are no longer together. He could probably help you out financially.

Seek the Support from Others in Your Life:

During this time, you will need all the support you can get. You will also feel better when you have your loved ones by your side. Confide in your parents, ask them to give you their full support. Reach out to your closest friends and cry on their shoulders whenever you need to.

Visit a Pregnancy Center:


Now that you are pregnant, you will need to visit a pregnancy center regularly. You will need to go for regular checkups, ultrasounds and get educated about pregnancy. You will also need to explore your birthing options and start planning accordingly. You can seek advice from a midwife or doctor if you are uncertain about which birthing option to choose.

Seek Counseling and Therapy:

If you are really depressed and can’t deal with your emotions. Or if you are facing other issues either than dealing with an unwanted pregnancy, you should seek counseling. A counselor can help you with dealing with your emotions and they could help you.

“Unintended pregnancy carried to term may have a long-term effect on women,” says Rebecca Mercier, Ph.D. “Health care professionals should therefore consider asking about pregnancy at early visits, as women who report that their pregnancy was unintended or unwanted may benefit from earlier or more targeted screening both during and following pregnancy.”

Give Yourself Some Time:

It’s understandable if you not happy about the pregnancy and you’re not looking forward to it either. You need some time to accept it, and you need to give yourself this time. Spend some time alone, think things over. Try and see the positive side of things and just give yourself a break and some soul-searching time.

“Take care and treat yourself the same way you do with loved ones,” says Georgia Witkin, Ph.D. “It’s important to make time for yourself whether it’s a workout class or a nice dinner.”

Your Plans Are Not Ruined:

It may seem as though your future has been ruined and your career will end. This is not the case, you can still make your dreams come true after motherhood. It might take a little time, but it’s possible. In fact, you will be focused and driven to make your dreams come true because you will want to be a good role model for your child and you will also want to provide the best for your child.

“Part of what makes regret so heavy is the feeling that something valuable has been irrevocably lost,” says Juliana Breines, Ph.D. “But there are also unexpected second chances, happy twists of fate, and new beginnings we never could have planned.”

Advantages of An Unplanned Pregnancy:

Unbelievably, there are some advantages to an unplanned pregnancy. It probably won’t seem like it, but read on:

  • You will sort out your finances: having a baby means you will need to be financially stable.
  • You will finally end up cleaning up your home and taking out all your clutter.
  • You will sort out your relationship. Whether you end up single or with your baby’s father. Either way, you will sort out your relationship and you will know where you stand.
  • You will sort yourself out emotionally and you will become stronger because now you will be forced to be strong for the sake of your baby.

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